It looks as if things for Gaia (Mother Earth) are going from bad to worse to wet...First Gaia got hit by "global warming" a drastic change in temperature across the globe brought on by overweight Americans driving around in gas-guzzling SUV's while eating fast food, drinking sugar enriched soda on cellphones in between puffs of various substances & emitting various noxious gases that polluted the atmosphere. The result...glaciers melted, rivers dried up, oceans evaporated before our eyes. Then seeming out of nowhere "global warming" all of a sudden turned in "climate change" & while Elitists from around the world descended on Davos to save mankind from itself...they had trouble getting home due to snow storms. The Polar Bear went from barely able to find a floe of ice to lie on to greater access to land masses in the Arctic & are now munching on Eskimo's for breakfast, lunch/brunch, dinner. This change from "global warming" to Global Climate change" is most likely due to Gaia reacting to global warming & launching her defenses like any organism to save itself. However...now comes "Global Wetting" as we are deluged by rainstorm after rainstorm washing away all the "global climate change". Most likely this was caused by the chain-reaction of "global warming" to all of a sudden "global climate change". Now please note that "global wetting" is based upon hard empirical evidence. Feel free to Google this yourself but it rained twice as much as normal this March & blew away previously recorded records.
I contacted America's very own Michelangelo Da Vinci..the one & only Al Gore. The man who single handledly invented the Internet while uncovering "global warming" while winning a Nobel Peace prize while VPing for Billy & asked him...after inventing...I mean discovering "global warming" then realizing it was actually global climate change...what's next after global wetting?!? Al told me that even as we speak John Edwards is working with the top ex MIT students who became ex hedge fund algo engineers to discover what great cataclysmic climate event will make him the most money while winning him the most Nobel Prizes...I mean what changes to the earth has man wroth upon himself now?!? Stay tuned loyal readers for exclusive insights into what stocks to buy to hedge against the next climatic event...from the one & only Shia LeBouf who in an exclusive GQ interview has revealed that after playing a Hedge Fund Manager in an upcoming movie he is now the next Steve Cohen, Tudor, Paulson all rolled into one. In the meantime go out & purchase some Wellington's to go with your Gore-tex gear...& good luck out there...
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