I'm running for Guv'nor of NY!

Dear Readers,

I am running for Guv'nor of NY & will need your help & support to hope to bring about change. Please note I'm not talking bout a senior position of Gov'nor over Mayor in 4 square here...I'm talking about Gov'nor of NY. I will running under the No-Longer-Funemployed-But-Still-Blogging-Party. Now while I may lack the experience & Law degree of Andy C, lack the Military & Martial Arts training of a Jimmy McMillian (Rent Too High Party), the connections, business success, insanity of a Paladino, or the total lameness of a listless Lazio I do have some super awesome ideas & am more then capable of making others laugh while making a fool of myself. Which seems to be what you need these days to get on the ballot. The changes I hope to bring about are...

I will outlaw Street Fairs! They do nothing but totally screw up & clog up streets which results in massive traffic congestion & re-routed buses. So find somewhere else to buy socks, sheets, sausage & funnel cake....like a store or mall! 

Legalize Ganja...but tax the hell out of it! While I'm not a user I'm sorry but it's not the gateway drug, alcohol is...and if the Fed comes after my booze...I will break out my 2nd amendment rights! Seriously...I will be able to fund every program we need off of this.

All other drugs...will come down like hammer of God on you. If you sell drugs to kids...u get executed (read: impaled)

Ban Unions. I'm sorry but the days of locking doors so men, woman, & children stuck in fire traps are over for the most part (there still are sweat shops). The Unions protect no one. All they do is guarantee people jobs even if they don't do them properly & then give them raises & pensions. Those days are over. Earn your jobs & get screwed ever when you are excelling at your jobs like the rest of us poor slobs in the Private Sector. Private sector jobs are down...Public are up...Private earning are down...Public are up...need I say more?

Pedophiles - Executed. No desire to try & reform or understand monsters with screwed up wiring. A cyber team aimed at hunting them down within the NYPD will be formed.

Enforced Exercise - All will be required at least 45 minutes 3X per week. That's 45 mins of exercise...not looking at others butts in the mirrors. I don't care if you run, lift, swim, play basketball or racquetball...you will do something to keep in shape. Your ancestors did so for survival...we are built & wired for it...you will JUST DO IT!You will feel better, look better, work better & will save millions in Healthcare. Feel free to smoke, eat sugar, salt etc...but you will work it off fatso!

Free Ice Cream Wednesdays! That's right...you exercise...I tax weed...everyone gets a free scoop! 

I will solve the homeless problem. I will deport them to the Western States. Plenty of open free land. Basic skills will be taught by the Army so they can build homes, hunt & farm.

I will annex the beaches of the Jersey Shore & execute the cast, writers, producers & directors of Jersey Shore (being green...impaled on used but cleaned up iron rods). Since I will have the 10th largest Army in the world at my disposal...might as well use'em & I'm a big beach guy. Again, only the beaches...those of you from NJ...can keep all the rest of your lovely state

I will invade Canada. Again, the NYPD is the 10th largest army in the world...use it or lose it. Canada has loads of natural resources, great beer, & loads of beautiful B level actress's (ie Pam Anderson & the like) who end up on US TV shows or strip joints. Plus as an added bonus...greater national security with Joe Arpaio the former Arizonian Sheriff manning up the Canadian border for me.

Mexico...that will depend on how negotiations go with Washington DC in it's current state of disarray.

So vote for me on the  No-Longer-Funemployed-But-Still-Blogging-Party on November 2nd!

I am Hunter's Deep Thoughts...& I endorse this message